Barack O-Martin-Luther-Ghandi-Bama King

First off, I like Barack Obama. Actually, no, I don’t, that was a complete lie. I do however like the American public… Wait… No, that was a lie too, the American public as a general rule is comprised of cretins and extremist shit munching red necks.

Is there anything thing I like about America? Yes, The fact that this election forced such a large number of white American males to sit down and really ask themselves,
“shucks, who do I hate more? women or the blacks?!”

Luckily that issue was quickly resolved, turns out they hate women more.

Let’s see, there must be something more I like about America… Oh yes, I remember now, I think it’s the fact that America just proved itself to be the most racist country in the fucking world without fucking realising it. I like the fact that the vast majority of America completely missed the part where it’s racist to vote the weaker fucking candidate in just because he’s fucking black.

I’m sure plenty of you cretinous degenerate cock gobbling faggots will come crying and barraging my e-mail with moronic shit as usual for saying that, but I don’t really give a flying fuck.

Here’s a breakdown of the American election:

Barack : Hello I’m black, have some buzz-words.

McCain: Hello, I have some sound policies regarding Iraq, the economy, foreign policy and domestic policy.

White American populace : Uh, I like the white guy, but he’s black, would it be racist if I voted for the white guy? Probably, better stick to the black guy.

Black American populace: OH MY FUCKING GAWD, IT’S A BLACK MAN, I CAN RELATE TO THAT!!!!!

Intelligent portion of American populace : …. …. ….

Barack: Yes, that’s right, I’m black. I don’t have any policies, and I’ll just re-iterate the same shit over and over again and promise vague crap like change and hope whilst failing to lay out any real plans of how I’ll achieve those things, but fuck it you ignorant neanderthals, I don’t have to, because you’re all fucking retarded little sheep and all I have to do is stand on my pedestal, be black, and throw buzz words at you…

American populace : Time to make mother fucking history!!!!!

Intelligent people : Wait, guys, make history? This is important, surely you should weigh up each candidate based on their policies and what they can promise rather than just voting to make history, there’ll be plenty of time to vote in a black man or an ethnic minority, surely the best course of action is to put the race issue aside?

American populace : LOL NO!

Yes, I know, I know, it’s a bit late to be writing about this, but in my defence I’ve been really fucking drunk for the last few weeks and since this is my first peek through the window of sobriety in quite some time I thought I’d piss my thoughts all over the internet and shit on your little puppy dog rainbow land of dreams for a bit till I find some more money for drugs whiskey and women.

And another thing, can you slack jawed fuck wits (no I don’t just mean Americans) SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHANGE! You have no idea how many of you fuck tards I have to destroy each and every day. Here’s the average conversation I’ve been having with Obama supporters around the world EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR THE LAST GOD DAMNED FUCKING 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!!

Idiot: OMG ISN’T IT LIKE SOOOOOOOO GOOD THAT A BLACK MAN GOT IN?
Me: Why? Do you really think that skin colour is such a big issue that you need to piss your pants with joy as soon as a black man gets elected?
Idiot : omg that’s like so racist! Can’t you see the change he’ll bring.
Me: No, I see a lot of well written speeches and an idiotic public that’ll chew up anything that’s more articulate than the 100+ hours of shitty television they devour each week. Tell me, idiot, how will he bring change?
Idiot : Well, he’s promised change and hope
Me: No, shut the fuck up, I said HOW.
Idiot : Um… Change?
Me : NO BITCH NO, OUTLINE HIS FUCKING POLICIES YOU COMPLETE FUCKING DICKWAD!
Idiot : …You’re racist.

Now, I’m aware that since the election is over some of his views and policies have entered the public domain, but before you shit-fuck-wank-stains elected him, nobody had a fucking clue about his policies. This makes you dumb-asses.

In essence what I’m saying here is this, if you’re fucking retarded you may have the right to vote, but don’t do it, because you’re fucking retarded and you’re fucking everybody’s shit up.

Oh yea, one last thing, shut the fuck up about Guantanimo fucking bay, nobody gives a magestic flying fuck through a magestic flying doughnut. Besides, it’s not closed, so stop saying it fucking is. It’s still open for the remainder of the year and there are still plenty of other places where America imprisons people and pisses all over their fucking rights so this isn’t really that big a fucking deal.

I know I’ve said “one last thing” twice already but there is another “one last thing” I need to get off my chest, in regards to the title of this angry literature.

STOP FUCKING COMPARING OBAMA TO PEOPLE LIKE GHANDI AND MARTIN LUTHER KING.

HE IS NEITHER GHANDI NOR MARTIN LUTHER KING.

HERE I’LL DRAW YOU A FUCKING PICTURE.

This is Ghandi, you dickhead.

This is Ghandi, you dickhead.

This is Martin Luther King Jr., you asshole.

This is Martin Luther King Jr., you asshole.

This is Obama, you cunt.

This is Obama, you cunt.

Now learn to differentiate between the three and don’t fucking come within 30 fucking miles of me ’til you’re able to do that.

Fuck you America.

And yes I’m well aware this rant wasn’t funny in the slightest and I don’t give a fuck.

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Published in: on 01/02/2009 at 4:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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