Fuck the BBC

I am so fucking sick of the BBC’s bullshit. Their entire philosophy seems to consist of:
“Let’s make the news more accessible to the lay man!” and “I like doggies lawl!”

We get 2 or maybe 3 real stories presented to us then we’re being presented with a feel good story with a picture of some ugly ass dog with three legs who climbed a shitting hill or some shit like that…

The worst part about the generic  “feel good” story is the presenters banter between  each other. For the most part you can clearly see the presenters have never met before, are awkward with each other because they fucked at the Christmas party despite both being married… and both being men. Or alternatively they are clearly feeling very uncomfortable sitting together because of what happened last time in an incident referred to by their co-workers in hushed tones only as “the incident.”

This is the fucking news, we do not need fucking “chemistry”, you’re not presenting a thriller-drama-buddy movie special. Go back to presenting the news properly you fucks.

Also, Neither I nor anybody fucking else gives a flying fuck about other peoples’ fucking pets. Nobody does. Not even the people who own “Mincy” the shitting shit bag dog care about her.  Nobody cares about the cat who gave birth to 16 kittens and died, nobody cares about your fucking goldfish that can wank a baby, and nobody fucking cares about your fucking horse with no fucking legs who can roll around like a big giant fucking worm…


And also, fuck the lay man, he’s a lay man because he can’t be fucked being anything more than that, if he can’t be fucked it’s not your job to water down the news and make it more fun and accessible to him.

And another thing, I am so fucking sick of hearing about Af-fucking-ghanistan. I do not care that our troops get shot and killed or wounded, they joined the fucking army, if they didn’t want to die, they shouldn’t have joined, because (and I hate to burst your fucking hippy love bubble you’ve been living in for the last 15 years) IT’S THE FUCKING ARMY.

I’d spell check this but I couldn’t be fucked and today is my “sit at home and wank myself to death” day.

Published in: on 03/09/2009 at 3:55 pm  Comments (1)  
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My computer is broken.

I know it’s been a while, but I am back, sort of… In so much that I’m using a friend’s computer to write this.

My computer has finally died. It lived fast and crashed hard, like sex on speed our time together was fun but all together far too short and my computer has finally been ravaged by all the violent sadistic porno hiding within it.

So please join me in a one minute silence by means of a ball gag in the name of my old computer… Terrence.

That’s right he had a name and I loved him very much.

Also, I’ve noticed my viewship has become quite high in my absense… Strange.

Well, regardless, I will update this at some point, just not today… Today’s a “sit at home and wank myself to death” day…

Published in: on 03/09/2009 at 3:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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