I suppose I should update this shit.

Cigarettes smoked : Incalculable. Over £300 was spent on cigarettes in the 3 week drinking challenge.

Alcohol Units consumed : Also Incalculable. Over £1300 was spent on drink, and that’s just my money. Friends spent around £700.

Times thrown up : 40+

Stomach Pumped : Twice

Fights Won : 4

Fights Lost : 6

A list of Taxi Companies I am now barred from using:
Fona-cabs, Model Cabs, Orchard Taxis, Apple Taxis, Value Cabs , Phonacabs and quite a few others I don’t know the names of.

Money spent on redecorating and refurbishing following epic sessions of drunkenly trashing friends houses: £300

Police Incidents : 3, all for being drunk and disorderly.

Estimated Damages of Pubs Around Belfast: £200 – Give or take 50.

Time spent Passed out: Over 70 hours.

Days Lost in so much that neither I nor anybody else knows where I was : 2

House Parties ruined : 8

Gay men thrown up on : 1

Number of Moments which made me Drunkenly Re-evaluate my Sexuality : 1

Number of “oh fucking fuck shit fuck that fucking girl is fucking fat/ugly, fucking fuck, what the fuck was I doing, oh fuck I gave it my fucking number, I CAN’T BELIEVE I GAVE THE FEMALE EQUIVOLENT OF JOSEPH FUCKING MERRICK MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER” moments : Shamefully 7.

Friends assaulted: 3

Friendships ruined : Zero surprisingly

General Notes : I’m too ill to go into the details. But it was fucking worth it.

Health Notes: I’ve lost 2 stone, I was apparently the worst case of alcohol poisoning that Dr. What’s his face has ever seen in the Belfast City Hospital. Hilariously the same doctor pumped my stomach twice and recommended I take part in an alcoholic recovery programme. I did not participate in said programme.

Published in: on 23/02/2009 at 1:07 am  Leave a Comment  
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