I think it’s fair to say that if the entire cast of the Harry Potter movies, anybody who’s read a Harry Potter Book and that cunt J.K. Rowling were all to die the world would be a much better place.
So thank you to the knife happy hero who decided to take Robert Knox out of the gene pool.
Some cunt who shouldn't be allowed to breed, oh, and Robert Knox is in there somewhere too, although I'll be frank, I don't know or care to know which one he is, all I see is genetic waste all over the show.
Jade Goody’s cancer is terminal? Society can only really benefit. I feel like all my Birthdays have come at once. I carry a picture of Jade around with me, for when I feel a little bit sad 😦 it cheers me up a bit.
Jade Goody
It’s been a while since I took the time to piss all over the English language in a vulgar display of cantankerous hate, so I thought today, I’d take the time to grab my thoughts and feelings by the throat and vigorously slam them all over your much loved internet where they can act as a general offence to the visual senses.
First off, can everybody stop fucking acting like they give half a flying shit about the BNP getting a couple of council seats? Let’s face it, you fuck tards did this shit to yourself. You resigned to apathy and stopped voting because you took what you had for granted, then as soon as the government goes to shit (because you won’t vote) you winge and cry like a bunch of cretinous children who’ve just had their breakfast pancakes, which were sprinkled with love by mummy, shit all over.
If you refuse to vote you’ll get a shit government, and if you don’t vote, then you lose the right to complain, because you’re the one who caused this fucking situation and you’re a shit stain on the face of society.
Voting should be mother-fucking mandatory, literally, if you don’t vote, by law, a big burley mother fucker should come to your house and fuck your mum in the ass, with no porno dialogue, no “can I fix your plumbing,” he just comes in and fucks her, that would teach you apathetic cunts to stop ruining democracy.
Secondly, boo hoo bankers are slicing their businesses up and giving themselves bonuses, you know what? Why don’t you sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up about it, no, they aren’t “banksters” or whatever the fuck silly little word the sun has plastered them with, they are business owners, when you own a sinking business you slice it up, sell it off, and make as much out of it before it’s collapse as you can, they own more shares than you, ergo they own more of the company than you, ergo they can do whatever the fuck they want, because their vote outweighs yours, now stop crying like a bitter little child just because you work on a fucking Plasticine assembly line with 30 other cretins.
Thirdly, “I lost my job a month ago and can’t get a new one,” I wonder why, perhaps this is because you worked on an assembly line for 30 years, and now won’t resign to the reality of the situation that you should do something new, because, guess what, BRITAIN’S MANUFACTURING INDUSTRY HAS BEEN DYING FOR THE LAST 60 YEARS, AND WE ARE A FUCKING NATION OF MIDDLE MEN. Get a job in a call centre or behind a till job behind a till. There are tons of places that are hiring, and those that aren’t are always having staff leaving that need replacing. Stop crying and get a new job you fuck. You’re not special and you’re not above any job, you’re as worthless as the economy you drove into the fucking ground with your apathy and tribal voting. Fuck yourself with a 50 ft rake and die.
Fourth, if you love Obama you’re probably the most hated of all racists, the accidental racist, i.e., a fucking idiot.
Finally, the BNPs recent success in polls has promted a wave of media bullshit claiming that BNP members getting seats will only serve to divide Britain in terms of race… What fucking magical cloud are you living in!? Britain IS racially divided. Here I’ll lay it the fuck out for you.
White people live beside white people,
Chinese people live beside Chinese people,
black people live beside black people,
Arabs live beside…can you guess? THAT’S FUCKING RIGHT, ARABS!
You getting the fucking picture yet Johnny twat face?
Jesus fucking Christ, this country is not a multicultural diverse wonderland of racial integration it’s that £3 jig saw puzzle you buy for your little sister at Christmas that has 100 pieces but only comes with 83 and when put together it makes a picture of a puddle of fucking dog sick.
For racial integration to work you need to break down ghettos and racial separation in terms of living areas, WHICH ISN’T HAPPENING, oh coincidentally, everyone who comes here hates us.
I know you love to believe that you’re Captain fucking diversity because you ignorantly bow to Asians when you first meet them and shout “omg that’s how you say hello isn’t it LOL!” in their faces and talk to black people about Chris Rock and the Wu-Tang Clan, but you’re not Captain Diversity, you’re just a dick and all your ethnic minority friends hate you because you’re an ignorant PC tool.
Anybody who follows Islam hates you, stop trying to integrate with Islamics, it’s retarded, fuck your PC bullshit, Islam is an evil religion.
The hilarious part of this is, no matter how many people tell you this, you prance around like a bunch of nancy boy faggots, trying to get through to you people is like trying to fuck through a hymen made of titanium.
Fuck Britain. Fuck you, you deserve this.
I suppose I should update this shit.
Cigarettes smoked : Incalculable. Over £300 was spent on cigarettes in the 3 week drinking challenge.
Alcohol Units consumed : Also Incalculable. Over £1300 was spent on drink, and that’s just my money. Friends spent around £700.
Times thrown up : 40+
Stomach Pumped : Twice
Fights Won : 4
Fights Lost : 6
A list of Taxi Companies I am now barred from using:
Fona-cabs, Model Cabs, Orchard Taxis, Apple Taxis, Value Cabs , Phonacabs and quite a few others I don’t know the names of.
Money spent on redecorating and refurbishing following epic sessions of drunkenly trashing friends houses: £300
Police Incidents : 3, all for being drunk and disorderly.
Estimated Damages of Pubs Around Belfast: £200 – Give or take 50.
Time spent Passed out: Over 70 hours.
Days Lost in so much that neither I nor anybody else knows where I was : 2
House Parties ruined : 8
Gay men thrown up on : 1
Number of Moments which made me Drunkenly Re-evaluate my Sexuality : 1
Number of “oh fucking fuck shit fuck that fucking girl is fucking fat/ugly, fucking fuck, what the fuck was I doing, oh fuck I gave it my fucking number, I CAN’T BELIEVE I GAVE THE FEMALE EQUIVOLENT OF JOSEPH FUCKING MERRICK MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER” moments : Shamefully 7.
Friends assaulted: 3
Friendships ruined : Zero surprisingly
General Notes : I’m too ill to go into the details. But it was fucking worth it.
Health Notes: I’ve lost 2 stone, I was apparently the worst case of alcohol poisoning that Dr. What’s his face has ever seen in the Belfast City Hospital. Hilariously the same doctor pumped my stomach twice and recommended I take part in an alcoholic recovery programme. I did not participate in said programme.
First off, I like Barack Obama. Actually, no, I don’t, that was a complete lie. I do however like the American public… Wait… No, that was a lie too, the American public as a general rule is comprised of cretins and extremist shit munching red necks.
Is there anything thing I like about America? Yes, The fact that this election forced such a large number of white American males to sit down and really ask themselves,
“shucks, who do I hate more? women or the blacks?!”
Luckily that issue was quickly resolved, turns out they hate women more.
Let’s see, there must be something more I like about America… Oh yes, I remember now, I think it’s the fact that America just proved itself to be the most racist country in the fucking world without fucking realising it. I like the fact that the vast majority of America completely missed the part where it’s racist to vote the weaker fucking candidate in just because he’s fucking black.
I’m sure plenty of you cretinous degenerate cock gobbling faggots will come crying and barraging my e-mail with moronic shit as usual for saying that, but I don’t really give a flying fuck.
Here’s a breakdown of the American election:
Barack : Hello I’m black, have some buzz-words.
McCain: Hello, I have some sound policies regarding Iraq, the economy, foreign policy and domestic policy.
White American populace : Uh, I like the white guy, but he’s black, would it be racist if I voted for the white guy? Probably, better stick to the black guy.
Black American populace: OH MY FUCKING GAWD, IT’S A BLACK MAN, I CAN RELATE TO THAT!!!!!
Intelligent portion of American populace : …. …. ….
Barack: Yes, that’s right, I’m black. I don’t have any policies, and I’ll just re-iterate the same shit over and over again and promise vague crap like change and hope whilst failing to lay out any real plans of how I’ll achieve those things, but fuck it you ignorant neanderthals, I don’t have to, because you’re all fucking retarded little sheep and all I have to do is stand on my pedestal, be black, and throw buzz words at you…
American populace : Time to make mother fucking history!!!!!
Intelligent people : Wait, guys, make history? This is important, surely you should weigh up each candidate based on their policies and what they can promise rather than just voting to make history, there’ll be plenty of time to vote in a black man or an ethnic minority, surely the best course of action is to put the race issue aside?
American populace : LOL NO!
Yes, I know, I know, it’s a bit late to be writing about this, but in my defence I’ve been really fucking drunk for the last few weeks and since this is my first peek through the window of sobriety in quite some time I thought I’d piss my thoughts all over the internet and shit on your little puppy dog rainbow land of dreams for a bit till I find some more money for drugs whiskey and women.
And another thing, can you slack jawed fuck wits (no I don’t just mean Americans) SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHANGE! You have no idea how many of you fuck tards I have to destroy each and every day. Here’s the average conversation I’ve been having with Obama supporters around the world EVERY FUCKING DAY FOR THE LAST GOD DAMNED FUCKING 3 FUCKING MONTHS!!!
Idiot: OMG ISN’T IT LIKE SOOOOOOOO GOOD THAT A BLACK MAN GOT IN?
Me: Why? Do you really think that skin colour is such a big issue that you need to piss your pants with joy as soon as a black man gets elected?
Idiot : omg that’s like so racist! Can’t you see the change he’ll bring.
Me: No, I see a lot of well written speeches and an idiotic public that’ll chew up anything that’s more articulate than the 100+ hours of shitty television they devour each week. Tell me, idiot, how will he bring change?
Idiot : Well, he’s promised change and hope
Me: No, shut the fuck up, I said HOW.
Idiot : Um… Change?
Me : NO BITCH NO, OUTLINE HIS FUCKING POLICIES YOU COMPLETE FUCKING DICKWAD!
Idiot : …You’re racist.
Now, I’m aware that since the election is over some of his views and policies have entered the public domain, but before you shit-fuck-wank-stains elected him, nobody had a fucking clue about his policies. This makes you dumb-asses.
In essence what I’m saying here is this, if you’re fucking retarded you may have the right to vote, but don’t do it, because you’re fucking retarded and you’re fucking everybody’s shit up.
Oh yea, one last thing, shut the fuck up about Guantanimo fucking bay, nobody gives a magestic flying fuck through a magestic flying doughnut. Besides, it’s not closed, so stop saying it fucking is. It’s still open for the remainder of the year and there are still plenty of other places where America imprisons people and pisses all over their fucking rights so this isn’t really that big a fucking deal.
I know I’ve said “one last thing” twice already but there is another “one last thing” I need to get off my chest, in regards to the title of this angry literature.
STOP FUCKING COMPARING OBAMA TO PEOPLE LIKE GHANDI AND MARTIN LUTHER KING.
HE IS NEITHER GHANDI NOR MARTIN LUTHER KING.
HERE I’LL DRAW YOU A FUCKING PICTURE.
This is Ghandi, you dickhead.
This is Martin Luther King Jr., you asshole.
This is Obama, you cunt.
Now learn to differentiate between the three and don’t fucking come within 30 fucking miles of me ’til you’re able to do that.
Fuck you America.
And yes I’m well aware this rant wasn’t funny in the slightest and I don’t give a fuck.
The Miserable Bastard 